Live Review: Tool

“So how many people from the footy club are here tonight?” This overheard query while inspecting the external merch stand speaks volumes about Tool's demographic. Then a dude whips out his Tool tatt to show some strangers. Mammoth queues for the men's toilets when there is virtually no wait for the ladies is further evidence that Tool attract a sausage sizzle. Not only are they conducting bag searches at the turnstiles, but also hand-held metal detector procedures are in place so all must adopt the mid-star jump stance.

A DJ set as support act? Not really sure about that. A throbbing heartbeat intro gets us in the appropriate 'horror' state of mind for this alt.metal four-piece's multi-sensory performance. As soon as the band members materialise, a roar akin to what you'd imagine accompanied the final, murderous blow to a gladiatorial contest at the Colosseum goes up. Band leader Maynard James Keenan can't ever accurately be labelled as 'frontman' since he lurches and lunges, menacingly, from side to side upstage in line with Danny Carey's gargantuan drum kit. Keenan looks like he's landed on stage via time machine, direct from the '90s with his mohawk, aviators and 'designer' frayed jeans. During opener Hooker With A Penis, not only are there air guitarists in the house, but also air drummers proudly pelting their invisible skins to prove their knowledge of these constantly shifting time signatures. Tool's guitar techs sport white lab coats and the venue security guards do an amazing job policing the “no photography” rule. They shine torches at every smartphone that's held in the air and an uncooperative punter who keeps on filming is ejected from the venue.           

Guitarist Adam Jones doubles as art director and his visuals are like National Geographic on crack. Schism (“I KNOW THE PIECES FIT!”) takes us there and many geeks jizz in their pants. As Justin Chancellor's bass rumbles bother our spleens, onscreen imagery of sewn together Frankenstein creatures interspersed with what looks like footage of human insides from an endoscope camera make us glad we skipped dinner. Chancellor looks like the ghost of Sovereign Hill, outlaw chic, and sways in a trance-like state as he plays.

An eerie sound effect signals intermission, making us feel as though we could be abducted by aliens at any moment. There's also a handy countdown to act two on the screens. Tool return to the stage while many blokes are still in the foyer battling toilet queues. Sinister, insidious visuals continue to colour our future nightmares. Closer Stinkfist is the clear set highlight this evening, perfectly showcasing these virtuosos. Fans screech out lyrics and toss their heads about as if the music's entered their souls: “Constant over stimulation numbs me/But I would not want you any other way.”

After genuinely appreciative bowing and saluting while soaking up our applause, Tool leave the stage. “That was some different shit, man,” announces a neighbour in the crowd. Cue house lights. Katy Perry's Wide Awake is played over the venue soundsystem. This sends Tool fans scurrying toward their nearest exit in great haste.