This isn't how we remember it
'Twas a night in Litchfield, and all through the prison,
not a creature was stirring, not even a chicken.
Thus begins the wonderful reimagining of classic yuletide tale The Night Before Christmas as told by the cast of Netflix's acclaimed prison drama-comedy Orange Is The New Black in a new video uploaded to YouTube by the streaming service this week.
After setting the scene of sweetly slumbering inmates "settled in their bunks", a unexpected noise pulls the prisoners from their beds. From there, though, the story takes a distinct turn from its traditional roots:
"Down to the chapel we tip-toed, real quiet,
Was shit going down? Would this be my first riot?"
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Establishing that a burgeoning brawl is not the cause of the disturbance, the inmates eventually meet the famed reindeer, and Santa himself, before summarily beating him up and taking his stuff, because this is still Orange Is The New Black and this was never going to end with peacefully consumed milk and cookies:
"The rest was a blur, it all happened so quick,
but we may have robbed and roughed up Saint Nick."
Not quite how we remember it, but we're on board.
Now staring down the barrel of its fourth season, OITNB remains one of the best shows on Netflix as it has broadened its interests from focusing primarily on the trials and tribulations of central character Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) towards a more ensemble-based framework, as the Night In Litchfield video further highlights as fan-favourite cast members including Uzo Aduba, Laverne Cox, Kate Mulgrew, Danielle Brooks and Yael Stone step up to the plate to recount the prison's unfortunate encounter with old Santy Claus.
The full clip is a real treat and an amusing aside as we count down to the 25th tomorrow, so kick back with a cold one — as is the Aussie Xmas tradition — and watch it below.