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Wanted: Big Flexible Dicks With Passports

16 October 2013 | 3:35 pm | Staff Writer

How your dick tricks can take you around the world

Calling all Aussie blokes, Puppetry Of The Penis are hiring - one of theatre's most notorious companies are looking for men who think they've got what it takes to put their gear on show.

It's time to take your dick tricks from the house parties to the world stage.

Co-creator David Friend told theMusic.com.au today that they're “looking for open minded, fun, blokes with a total lack of shame” and that's there a few roles and opportunities available.

He said they were look for a guy – or guys – to join the traveling team and that there were plenty of opportunities for travel, with dates booked throughout Australia for next year and further touring opportunities across America and the UK and Europe.

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Naturally, we had to ask the 'big' questions.

Size Doesn't Matter

“We don't like to talk size, but the more clay a sculptor has to work with, the more he can create. Seriously though, anybody who is open minded, confident and doesn't mind dropping their strides can do this.”

You Learn Skills On The Job

“Most times, people applying already do a few tricks, however, we train you in every aspect of puppeteering. We've trained everyone from concreters to computer programmers to become successful, professional dick trickers.”

Audition In Private

“When you contact us, we will arrange one of our scouts to come and check you out in a private audition. If you're in Melbourne and super keen, we'll be doing some open auditions at Sexpo in November.”

As well as the main travelling team, Friend said that there were state-based roles on offer. “Also, for those just wanting to earn some great cash working minimal hours over the weekends, we have roles in our Puppetry Private Parties in all states,” he added. This would suit someone who may not be able to travel on the weekends, has a permanent job and needs more cash or is a student.”

Further details on how to apply are available here.

Bonus content – alternate headlines we considered for this story because we're mature:

'Start Dicking Around The World'
'Use Your Dick Tricks To Travel The World'
'Let Your Dick Decide Your Next Travel Plans'
'Do You Have A World Class Penis?'