Looks Like The Internet Didn't Like Our Amazing Semi-Nude Totally Unicorn Cover

27 September 2016 | 12:42 pm | Uppy Chatterjee

"We would like to warn fully grown adults that our live show is much many more offensives than any drawing..."

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Some things we just don't understand. Like how anyone could take offence to our sparkling, fairy-floss pink, rainbow-gracing cover this week of the Totally Unicorn dudes riding bare-backed and bare-butted on the back of a unicorn. 

Seriously. It's gold.

Well, digital publishing platform Issuu aren't too keen on the cover and we had no choice but to censor out the boys before our digital magazine was uploaded to their website with a big fat white banner, as it "does not appear suitable for Safe Mode". 

Was it their creamy white thighs? The fact that one of their nipples is being tweaked? The band's undie tans? 

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As per Issuu's Community Standards and Safe Mode Guidelines, we reckon the cover features:

1. No hate speech, harassment, profanity, vulgarity or inappropriate material directed toward specific individuals or groups of individuals

2. No content involving the exploitation of children. 

3. No obscene, defamatory or libelous content.

4. No copyrighted material for which you do not have the corresponding rights to publish.

5. No unlawful, prohibited, or regulated goods, products or services, including those that promote illegal or prohibited activities

6. No graphic, obscene or violent content that is published for sadistic effect or to glorify violence

The men of the hour Totally Unicorn have, of course, put in their two cents. Mike Bennett told theMusic.com.au, "ISSUU is obviously an extremely reputable website and are an absolute authority on Internet censorship and what should or should not be consumed by the public.

"We thought that having absolutely no nudity in a drawing would be acceptable, however we were wrong. It does make me call into question some of my own work though: a self-portrait of sorts, I arted earlier this year.
 
 
"We would like to officially apologise to the internets and to everyone we offended - especially all the dads out there. We would also like to warn fully grown adults that our live show is much many more offensives than any drawing and recommend only coming to shows on the DREAM LIFE tour if you appreciate the art of full frontal male nudity and party in all its glory.
 
"I'd like to finish by thanking ISSUU and Corey Feldman and his angels."