Five Suggestions For Who Should Play Morrissey In The New Smiths Movie

With news surfacing today that True Blood/Magic Mike actor Joe Manganiello would be producing a film about The Smiths, Shoplifters Of The World, with his production company 359 Inc, we decided to have a wee brainstorm about five people we think would make a great Morrissey in the film.

Reportedly set in 1987 and based on the legend of the rabid fan that decided to hold up a Denver radio station to broadcast only songs by The Smiths, we are hoping that story somehow manages to involve members of The Smiths as characters in the film. So we got to thinking… who the hell could play Morrissey? The Great One has apparently given the film his stamp of approval, so we're sure he'll be stoked with our suggestions.

cate blanchett

The Oscar-winning actress played such a convincing 'Bob Dylan' in 2007's Todd Haynes-directed I'm Not There, we reckon she's capable of embodying literally anyone. In fact, she's no stranger to portraying real life celebs at all. She played actress Katharine Hepburn in 2004's The Aviator, a (fictionalised) Queen Elizabeth I in Elizabeth: The Golden Age and even Lucille Ball in an upcoming Aaron Sorkin biopic. And make-up and special FX work wonders.

daniel day-lewis

When has Daniel Day-Lewis ever done anything half-assed? He's picked up so many awards for films like My Left Foot and There Will Be Blood that we're convinced he's taken to using his trophies as doorstops (or as prop mics when he lip syncs to Beyonce in his bedroom between films). After Lincoln (that's a biopic in which Day-Lewis portrayed President Abraham Lincoln, natch), many reported how much of a painstaking method actor Day-Lewis was — we're convinced that for a role like Morrissey, 59-year-old would rock up at Moz's house to learn the songs from the king himself. Plus… he looks a lot like Morrissey.

grumpy cat

Given Morrissey's history of getting a bit grumpy at literally everything, most importantly animal cruelty, we think this one's fairly self-explanatory. He's also obviously firmly on Team Cat given he's chastised the Australian government for their plan to cull feral cats. It was either Grumpy Cat or Lil Bub so this one's for you, Moz. 

quentin tarentino

Setting aside the fact that there's apparently footage of Tarentino actually heading to a Morrissey show in 2013, so at the very least he's a fan of the guy, the two actually looked quite alike when they were young. And maybe the auteur in Tarentino could give Manganiello and the director some great one-liners for the film. 

Pic via Buzzfeed

channing tatum

Well, the guy who plays Morrissey doesn't have to be British… or miserable... or look like him, really. It might be an interesting experiment to have a young, attractive, chiselled, ex-stripper to interpret the singer's life. Magic Moz. Look — he even had a go at singing in Hail, Caesar!