"We've decided it's best not to continue for the sake of both my physical and mental health."
Closure In Moscow frontman Christopher de Cinque has opened up about living with an anxiety disorder in a heartfelt social media post explaining the reasons behind the band's need to cancel an impending run of shows in Europe.
Rather than resort to the standard — though vague — catch-cries of 'unforeseen circumstances' or 'personal reasons', de Cinque used the opportunity to shed light on the struggles he faces dealing with often "debilitating" anxiety, despite having become "very adept at hiding it", and conveyed that the band and he had decided it would be best for everyone, especially in light of both public and private incidents (including the theft of a range of gear and personal property) during the band's recent stint in Europe, to focus instead on recovery.
"Hey everybody, I regret to inform anyone that was planning on coming to any of the upcoming European shows that we've decided it's best not to continue for the sake of both my physical and mental health," de Cinque wrote in his post. "It's unfortunately gotten to a point where getting back home and getting well has to take precedence over seeing out the remainder of the dates.
"For the sake of this not being just another 'due to unforeseen circumstances' or 'for personal reasons' gloss over post, I think I should divulge that I suffer from a pretty debilitating anxiety disorder, it's something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I've gotten very adept at hiding it, and I think that's somewhat something to do with feeling embarrassed, even ashamed of it."
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De Cinque goes on to explain that the situation on Closure In Moscow's European tour — which was due to finish in the Netherlands on 26 November — had become "a perfect storm" of events that impeded his usual self-management and left the frontman "isolating myself completely" while his physical health "deteriorated severely".
"I had to talk to the other guys about it in a way that I never have before, which was really hard," de Cinque wrote. "But, of course, being close friends and having my best interests and welfare at heart, they made me see I had nothing to be embarrassed about, nothing to be ashamed of.
"Their only disappointment was that I hadn't communicated openly and confided in them sooner. This was a huge relief for me."
De Cinque concluded his message with an apology to the fans who'd intended on making the now-cancelled shows, promising to make it up to them in the future, as well as ruminating on the wider lesson for his — and others' — mental well-being:
"I guess the positive I'm trying to impart here is this, if you feel this way and struggle with this shit like me and you feel like you have to tackle it alone, talk to people around you, people that care about you, don't feel embarrassed or stupid, it just compounds it and it's fucking horrible," he said. "You'll be so pleasantly surprised at how understanding people are and how much talking it out is taking leaps towards getting a handle on it.
"I've tried to deal with this alone for way too long, if you wanna talk to me about it even, I have time for anyone that needs friendly advice or support… Hit me the fuck up!"
If you or someone you know suffers from anxiety, help is available. Contact beyondblue (or any of the other companies involved in Reconnexion's National Anxiety Disorders Organisations Network), Lifeline or Anxiety Treatment Australia for more information.