Band's Feelings Hurt By Passion Pop's Refusal To Return Their Calls

Melbourne art-rock duo The Stiffys have a bone to pick with candied-alcohol makers Passion Pop, with the pair taking to social media to embark on a shouty (or normal; it's hard to tell with those dudes) admonishment of the company for failing to return their business calls.

Letting it all out in a post on their Facebook wall, The Stiffys made it known they were miffed by Passion Pop's repeated snubs, explaining that they would be terminating their non-existent professional relationship with the organisation post-haste.

"WE WOULD LIKE TO PUBLICLY TERMINATE OUR WORKING RELATIONSHIP WITH PASSION POP[.] THEY HAVE NOT RESPONDED TO ANY OF OUR REQUESTS FOR DRINKS OR ANSWERED ANY OF OUR VOICEMAILS AND YES THERE HAVE BEEN A LOT OF VOICEMAILS SO TO ALL THE OTHER WHITE WINE COMPANIES WE WANT TO MAKE THIS CLEAR[:] THE STIFFYS ARE OPEN FOR BUSINESS."

The lads are taking the imagined setback in stride, though, despite admitting to a supporter in this tough time that they "REALLY ENJOY DRINKING FOUR OR FIVE BOTTLES OF PASSION POP OF AN EVENING … BUT YOU KNOW IN THIS ECONOMY".

Responding to another fan, the band elaborated: "WHILE THEY NEVER TECHNICALLY RESPONDED TO ANY OF OUR COMMUNICATIONS I'M FAIRLY CONFIDENT THAT PASSION POP WILL BE HURTING RIGHT NOW."

At the suggestion that perhaps they try the old "it's my birthday" trick to curry easy favour with the company, The Stiffys revealed, "WE DID THAT ON PASSION POP'S VOICEMAIL OVER FOUR HUNDRED TIMES … AND NOTHING IT'S LIKE THEY SAW RIGHT THROUGH US".

It's not like The Stiffys need Passion Pop, though; indeed, the band seem like they'd be stoked with any beverage affiliation, telling another commenter — who suggested they hit up sparkling-white maker Spumante — "WE ARE KEEN TO BEGIN A PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIP".

"WE WOULD NEED AT LEAST ONE PALLET TO GET THE BALL ROLLING AND ALSO SOME MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS," the band wrote.

Hey, whatever keeps the tunes coming. If you're a winemaker or just know where The Stiffys can get some free booze (or Monster, apparently), let 'em know.

The Stiffys will be playing at this year's Dead Of Winter festival with the likes of The Go Set, The Resignators, Totally Unicorn, Party Vibez, Horrorwood Mannequins, As Paradise Falls and many more.

See the Festivals tab for more information.