Unexpected Singing

Drummer has tendonitis in his shoulder! It's a better start than last time when the singer had a dislocated jaw and a concussion. Also, drummer has somehow pulled a muscle in his hip… we suspect an auto-fellatio attempt. It turns out that horns can actually auto-fellate and will try to demonstrate after a few drinks. At least yoga is good for something.

Band is travelling for the first time with new members including an accordionist, horns and keyboardist. We're going to know each other well by the end of the trip, very well. Flying seven – we left our cellist behind – to Brisbane with all our gear makes us all feel like rock stars. Paying for seven to fly to Brisbane makes us worry we're running out of money. Anyway, it is raining torrentially as we land; fortunately we still have dry gear, but in wet cases. After we get our rent-o-van, we play a real life game of wet tetris, with people and gear. Drummer has to drive – he's the only one over 25 with a licence. Singer lost his wallet (with licence) one week prior. Drummer is pissed that he can't drink. Band make sure to thank drummer intermittently throughout entire Queensland trip. In fact, they recorded thanks and looped it so they didn't have to bother more than once.

Location One, 3pm: Radio Station, 4ZZZ. Interview. Drunk. Everyone decides that they want to be on the radio and cram into the room. The hosts are lovely, we get on well off the air. On air everything changes, cute girl host asks questions, singer decides to be flirty by being awkward and difficult. Band holds laughter in. Bassist looses it. Horns breaks sexual orientation PC barrier then breaks race PC barrier for good measure (we should point out that he is actually a gay, black man).

Location Two, 5pm: Venue, The Joynt. Load in, set up. We finally have time for food, booze and to get dressed for the show. It's raining heavily and the band is worried, but by show time, lots of people appear! Thanks Street Press, thanks QLD Paper, thanks music blog! Band play well, crowd danced well, super drunk heckler doesn't super drunk heckle well. Show over, but exhausted + sweaty + gross = sexy. Band pickup another band called The Good Ship. The rest of the night will never be spoken of again.

Wake up, insert coffee drip and drive to Maroochydore, which is a ghost town with a really sweet venue, Solbar. Nice and easy set-up and soundcheck. Drummer is happy – he has a drum riser and can see more than bums. Time for dress-up, food and drink routine. Local bistro has the 'party starter' deal, a meal and three vodkas or cocktails for $15. Endless party -starting jokes ensue. Bassist chokes on horrible cocktail. Someone orders a bucket of prawns; everyone worries for their health. Showtime and ghost town turns into partyville. The Good Ship play first and try to steal the show. They do a damn good job. The only way for the band to deal with this problem is to sit in the band room and drink free beer. Our performance starts with guys lining up the front of the stage in black T-shirts getting ready. We worry that they're AC/DC fanatics. Turns out they learned all the words to our songs and sang along the whole show. This was unexpected. Emergency stop halfway through the set… a girl from the crowd is pashing the accordionist on stage. Band needs to re-evaluate status as being defined as folk. The Good Ship 'spontaneously' joined us on stage for the final two songs; random girls just spontaneously join us on stage. Having 20 people on stage partying hard is fun, having 20 people on stage and 250 people in a packed room screaming “Let's do what the Catholics do: HAVE SEX AND BABIES” is a life-changing event. If only all our shows were like this.