Radio Station Plays New Single 300 Times In A Row

Listeners to popular Australian radio station 808.5 FM were shocked and traumatised today after the station decided to play the new single from popular Australian rock band The Steam Trains non-stop during the breakfast and morning slots this hour.

The station had the premiere of the track Cedar Rapids at 7am during the breakfast show, but decided to throw the rest of the programming out the window after hearing it.

Twwets from listeners to the high-rating radio show indicate people thought it was a joke at first, but realised what was happening when the track started for the seventh time.

"There were car crashes all over the free-way today," listener Dindo Armstrong told SPA Confidential. "People couldn't believe what they were hearing and were just crashing into one another - I even saw people shuddering and shaking by the side of the road. We just can't understand it. Why would a radio station do this to us?"

SPA Confidential has also received reports of widespread breakdowns in offices across the country. Hospitals are inundated with people checking themselves into emergency, unable to deal with hearing the same song on loop.

The station's director tried to justify the decision to SPA Confidential today, saying: "We really like the track. We think it's going to be the feel-good track of winter. We think our listeners want this as well, that's why we're doing a marathon over the weekend! Nothing but the single!"

Lunchtime host Victor Trotter has resigned from his post at the station with immediate effect after he was told that his show might be cut short to fit in more spins of the new single.

Taking to social media he told distressed fans, "This would never happen to Kyle Sandilands. I want full editorial control over my show. Only Chris Brown, Ed Sheeran, One Direction and various EDM club bangers from here on in!"

The scandal, which has rocked the music industry to the core, has started whispers of a conspiracy theory. When SPA Confidential broke into an industry luncheon we weren't invited to today we heard that a mysterious 'insider' working for the band is blackmailing the station heads into the act. And it's spreading outside of radio as well, with the nation's most popular Sunday paper to feature a 56-page supplement with the song's lyrics printed over and over.