Shihad Tour Diary: Part Two

WEDNESDAY 24 APRIL - TRAVEL DAY, AUCKLAND TO BRISBANE

10.00am: Breakfast time in front of The Ellen Show.

10.05am: Time for an obsessive news check on my smart phone and a puff of my asthma inhaler.

10.35am: I'm doing my hair in the mirror after having a shower and Jonny starts shouting “Gunsty, Gunsty, pat your hair down Gunsty”. Gunsty is a reference to Norman Gunston, the Gary McDonald character, and the way he does his hairstyle. I've had curly hair all my life, and even though it looks a bit strange when it's wet, and I put product in it, I know that when it dry's half an hour later, it's gonna look completely different. And not like Gunsty.

10.45am: I meet Tom in the lift and he says, “Jesus. You're not going out with your hair like that are you Phil? It looks like someone dumped a bowl of pasta on your head.”

11.00am: Photo shoot for Motorhead Phones. More than happy to help promote anything Motorhead. A band that's had a massive influence on us all throughout our career. And Lemmy's got to be one of the wittiest guys in rock. I played the riff to Metropolis at soundcheck on Friday. It must be said that I also played the riffs for Unchained by Van Halen, and Harder Than A Rock by ACDC. It's all about the classics, in me advancing years.

Shameless Motorhead plug...

12.20pm: Obsessive news check on my phone.

1.30pm: Waiting for the other guys to get in the car so I can drive us to Auckland International airport for a 3.30pm flight. Traffic is heavy and it's pissing down with rain. Cutting it a bit to fine for my liking

2.25pm: Made it with a bit of time to spare. In the Qantas Club now. Life's tough. Internet's shit here.

2.50pm: One more obsessive news check before I have to get on the plane.

5.30pm: Landed in Brisbane. Time for an obsessive news check. Better let the wife know that I've landed ok.

6.10pm: Had an argument with Tom in the car driving from Brisbane airport. I took the long way from the airport to the hotel, and that's just not good enough apparently.

6.50pm: At the hotel now, and I'm sharing an apartment with Jon. We get through the door and discover that my bedroom door is locked. Weird. Did someone die in there, I wonder. Had to be my room, of course. Life's tough.

7.25pm: Sushi Train in the valley, for dinner. The food comes around on a little train. If you don't decide well in advance what you want to eat, and grab it, then it passes you by. Sort of like life. But not really. Because then it comes round again.

8.10pm: Had another argument with Tom about directions on the way back from dinner.

THURSDAY 25 APRIL - SHOW DAY, BRISBANE

10.00am: Got woken up by an F18 flying over Brisbane city for ANZAC day. Me in my safe little bed that's never had to go to war and fight for anything. Thank you to my two grandads for fighting for these two prosperous, beautifully multicultural and democratic countries. Going back to sleep now.

12pm: Up for good now.

1.25pm: First coffee time. It's my last remaining vice. Oh, apart from my massive sex addiction. I hope my mother in law isn't reading this. Is she reading this?

1.40pm: I get back in the door and Jon says, "What's happening Cheesey Wenal Meat!”

This can't be the stage, can it?

6pm: Soundcheck time. Us and our crew are freaking out because we only have twenty minutes left to get everything checked. And it seems to be taking twice as long as usual.

6.08pm: Twelve minutes left of our soundcheck and it doesn't look like we're gonna get a chance to play an actual song.
 
6.30pm: The awesome Black Sabbath production and stage managers have let us have more time to finish our soundcheck and get everything sounding great. 

6.50pm: Time for my second coffee.

7.30pm: Showtime.

8.00pm: Offstage. That was awesome. Now I want some food.  
 
8.15pm: Off to catering to eat dinner before they pack everything up.

8.25pm: Time for my third coffee. Now I've got the shakes. What a dick. I never know when to stop. 

8.50pm: Time to watch some Sabbath. I'm sitting on a road case to the side of the stage. All I see is Geezer Butlers head and the drummer, obscured by four rack toms. I'll go out into the crowd and get a better view when I can be bothered getting off my fat tired arse.

11.00pm: Driving back to our hotel in Brisbane city now. Our tour manager's been drinking so I'm driving again. Tom, Dan our manager and Richie our stage tech, are all taking care of directions, so we should be sweet.

11.10pm: I take a wrong turn onto the Gateway Bridge and now we're heading for the Gold Coast...

Ozzy, slaying 'em!

Written by Phil Knight.