Good Or Shit: Grimes & Sexism

Everyone is talking about Grimes' impassioned rant about sexism in the music industry. Grimes is tired. Tired and sad. Of being objectified, sexualised, infantalised for refusing to be sexualised, for being treated like she's handicapped because she's a woman, for being accused of man-hating simply because she wants to be treated as an equal.

I happened to read Grimes' entreaty in the same week that I read a piece about Australian rapper Iggy Azalea in which the subject of objectification also came up. “Yeah it is annoying to be objectified,” she told the interviewer in reference to a Google search of her name, “yeah it is annoying that there's a million pictures of my butt”. However, she later stated, “I don't think I'm a feminist.”

There is some warped, misguided mythology about what it means to be a feminist. I mean, it wasn't until about a year ago when I discovered British journalist, author and “strident feminist” – Caitlin Moran – that this misinformation was cleared up for me. Feminism is not an uncontrollable urge to take to the street with your bra aflame, it's not necessarily wanting to give up grooming, and it's not wanting to round up all men in a paddock to be shot. Put simply, feminism is the belief that women should be treated equally. That's all. It's the belief that, as Moran says – we, men and women alike, are all just The Guys. And she reckons that if we're all just The Guys, then the best way to detect sexism is to ask yourself – is this polite? “Was one of The Guys just ... uncouth to a fellow guy?”

These days, with woman's right to work, vote and drink in the pub with the men, we tend not to notice sexism's persistent existence. For instance, a male friend of mine once took a map out of my hand because, as he casually pointed out, he would understand it better. At the time, I was miffed, thought it was an incorrect and stupid thing to believe, but I was so comfortable being a modern liberated woman that I didn't realise – and I don't think he did either – that this was definitely some sexism.

Grimes makes a lot of very good points about behaviour that is so commonplace we have become complacent about it. Partly because we can vote, work and drink in the pub, we don't notice, and when we do, we don't want to come across as whiny, angry little man-haters. As Iggy Azalea said - “I don't think I'm a feminist. I think I'm just a woman who… is aware enough to see the way we can offend other people.” She sees it, she's aware of it, but she would rather get on with sticking her arse out for her press shots than speak out against it.

And this is by no means confined to the music industry. I think Grimes was referring to something broader than that. I mean, surely it isn't the male producers and industry execs who are discussing on internet forums whether or not they would fuck her, before going on to discuss whether or not Iggy Azalea's arse is real.

Let's ask ourselves ... this sexualisation and objectification that is happening here, is this polite?

Or, as I am one of The Guys, do I have the right to objectify?

A friend and I have a pub we like to go to specifically because all the bartenders are hot. We sit at the bar and leer at them. “She wants to eat you,” I say, “on toast” my friend says.

If I am with my girlfriends and we see a man we find attractive, we sit back and let phrases we have become accustomed to fly – “I wouldn't kick him out bed if he farted”, “I'd bend him over a table,” and if a man insults us, we respond by telling him to “suck my moot.”

Just the other day a close friend of mine said – “I probably just got pregnant watching Benedict Cumberbatch and Simon Pegg in the same movie. Dropped an egg at least.”

Another says Pharell Williams makes her “flaps twitch”.

And you should hear some of things I've said about Jesus. I mean, talk about words and deeds to make you wet. I have a picture of him on my wall, right above a picture of Colin Firth as Mr Darcy.

“Man! Unblock my toilet.”

“Hey beefcakes, need help boiling that potato?”

“Lost your job? As long as you don't lose your abs you'll be fine.”

“Why aren't you fighting in Afghanistan?”

“Barbecue me some meat, dog.”

Is this polite? No really, asks yourselves. Is this polite?