Here Are The Hacks You Need To Know This Festival Season

Festivals are fun, right? Well, yes obviously. But also in another sense, good god no! Roasting hot tents; being eaten alive by ravenous mozzies; dicing with dysentery in overflowing porta-potties; trying to remember where you pitched your camp while in a sleep-deprived, boozed-up twilight state. All in all, festivals are just about the most heinous thing you can do to your poor old bod. But worry not friends, we've sussed out the pitfalls so you don't have to. Check out our essential survival tips to make sure you make it out alive. 

Sort Your Kit

When you rock up at a festival, all normal dress codes are suspended: looking like a cross between the Mad Hatter, Willy Wonka and all of the Village People simultaneously is totally acceptable. By all means, dress like a batshit loon, but remember to slip, slop and slap as you're going to be catching more than your fair share of UV, and nobody wants to look like a lobster (unless you're dressed like a lobster, which isn't beyond the realms of possibility). We also recommend packing a portable charger to keep your phone juiced and extra batteries for your torch. Also, Dioralyte or similar anti-dehydration tablets, bug repellent and wet wipes (for a quick freshen-up) are a must. If you're not fashion forward enough to rock a bumbag, make sure you have a way to carry your cash and phone where it won't get nicked or fucked up. 

Fuel Up

Festival tucker has gone gourmet in recent years, thanks to the growing popularity of food trucks, but prices can be eye-watering. While many festivals have ATMs, they can be temperamental, so bringing along enough cash is important, especially if you're the type of person who needs three square meals a day. To save a few extra bucks bring plenty of snacks of your own — meal replacement shakes and granola or protein bars are the best options — then those extra dollars saved can be spent on a few cold ones at the bar. That said, staying hydrated is absolutely bloody crucial, so make sure you're getting plenty of H2O into your system if you're on the grog. 

Game Plan

Before you head to the fest, it's worth doing a bit of forward planning. Work out what sets you want to catch, where everything is on the site and decide a group meeting point so you don't waste precious fun times schlepping around hunting down your mates. Most festivals have an app you can download, so if that's the case, make it your bible. We need to talk about queues: at festivals, there are a fuck-ton of them and there's basically nothing you can do about that. Soz. Getting a singalong going with others in the line, breaking the ice with some new festie-besties or getting in your pre-mosh stretches (or as one of The Music staff suggested, kegel exercises) are also great ways to kill time in line.