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I Ate At The Cafe Where They Are Filming The Block

6 October 2015 | 1:20 pm | Andrew Mast

Because The Block

So, I ate at the cafe that's opened on the location of The Block.

Oh yeah, a spoiler alert for hardcore Blockheads. This may somehow ruin what's in store for you despite the reality competition show basically having stuck to the same formula since it started.

And a spoiler alert for non-Blockheads: you just won't care about what follows at all.

Anyway, while the broadcast of The Block has just past another bedroom reveal (someone went 'Scandinavian', someone else was trying not to be art deco, yada yada yada), IRL a cafe has opened on the ground floor of the current season's location while filming goes on above.

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That means there is now a cafe in the grounds of the former 'vampire hotel' (google that — or don't, it's very nasty) near the corner of the ridiculously busy South Yarra intersection of Commercial and Punt Roads.

Called Mister Zen it's as much an indoor eatery as it is an outdoor cafe. Yep, an outdoor cafe called Mister Zen near one of the city's busiest intersections. Let that sink in.

But y'know what? It's actually relaxing to sit and watch the traffic build up along Commercial Road — as you sit amidst the new greenery and generous selection of spheres (someone in charge of decor really LOVES spheres) —  and know that you aren't in that traffic jam.

Don't worry this is not a vampire-themed restaurant and be thankful the menu isn't also spherically-themed (meat balls, oranges… in case you're wondering what that'd be like).

Instead, the menu is all the things that are popular around various inner urban food joints. In fact, on this day, well, mid-afternoon, they'd already run out of smashed avo (Really? Who goes out to eat and then just orders smashed avo? Who are you people?). 

But there was still soft-shelled crab burgers (my dining partner insists they were easy to get down) and pulled-lamb baguettes (I can attest to these going down easy too). And, there was a satisfying selection of fresh juices — I went for the watermelon, pear, pineapple and mint combo.

But we all know the menu is secondary here.

What you really want to know is… Was there any sign of the current (very white) ten cast members? No (not even a sobbing Andrew in a back corner). Was there any sign of Foreman Keith (who I always mistake for host and Logie winner Cam — I mean all those old white guys look the same)? No. Was there leaking gas? No. Were the down pipes metal or PVC? PVC (I knocked on one). Were there any cameras rolling? No (I have not made it into a forthcoming 'colour and movement' montage).

So, would I return? 

Yep but only until I make into a montage.