Dan Condon: Sick Tunes, Sick Soundwave

Hi all, an early edition of Sick Tunes for you this week as the Soundwave announcement comes through tomorrow and I want to tell you all what I'd like to see on the Soundwave 2013 bill. Why? Because I'm a self-important blogger who believes he has superior taste in music to just about everyone.

No doubt you'll see by the end of this post why I do not and, most likely, will never, program a festival like Soundwave. I dare say that if Soundwave relied on these five bands to sell tickets, there wouldn't be much of a chance of the event surviving in any format. But, hey, dreams are free.

I will preface the following five selections for 2013's Soundwave bill by saying that I truly have no idea whether or not these bands will play the festival. They all kinda have reason to be touring Australia (new records, time passed since their last visit, minimal criminal murkiness) and they're all kind of heavy enough to be considered for the event, but I'm not privy to any inside info.

TURBONEGRO

Rumours of the return of these Norwegian deathpunk heroes have really ramped up over the past couple of months. The band are reformed, sadly without former frontman Hank von Helvete, but the new frontman Tony Sylvester aka “The Duke of Nothing” has this incredible rasp to his vocal that, when pushed, just sounds so brutal and intense. You can hear it on the track above, You Give Me Worms, which is taken from the band's new record Sexual Harassment released this year (though I'm not sure if it's even out in Australia officially). Turbonegro are one of the world's truly great live bands; their show at Livid in 2003 was mindblowing and they would absolutely kill it if given a shot at a big Soundwave stage. Goddamn it, just talking about them makes me wanna go and drop the needle on Apocalypse Dudes…

MUNICIPAL WASTE

They are one of the best modern thrash bands around in my opinion and, without a doubt, their live show is just about better than any other. Municipal Waste put make metal fun in the most natural and unpretentious of ways, they're not a novelty band, they just know how to have a good time. They've just dropped their new record The Fatal Feast and while it isn't quite manage to beat the genius of their The Art of Partying and Hazardous Mutation records; it's still another scintillating slice of punishing, rollicking music. They haven't toured Australian in so goddamn long; surely they are at least on the radar of the people who book the bands for Soundwave? The title track from the new record is above and it begs a different question; why have Municipal Waste chosen such poor singles from a great album?

PULLED APART BY HORSES

These crazy fucking Brits absolutely dominated the Golden Plains festival last year on the Sunday bill; they were a band I'd never heard of and one who seemed pretty out of place in amongst acts like Best Coast, Robert Forster and Besnard Lakes that particular afternoon. They unleashed a furious brand of post-hardcore and an insanely energetic and powerful live show. Even though they've since released a new album Pulled Apart By Horses haven't been back since that tour and, while they may be a more Big Day Out or perhaps even Harvest, appropriate band, I could see them fitting in on the Soundwave bill quite nicely and winning over a bunch of youngsters who would hopefully stumble across them. Above is their latest video for Bromance Ain't Dead.

THE VANDALS

I've never seen The Vandals live, because every opportunity I have had has been when they've been supporting someone who I really do not want to see. I have no real idea why I love this band so much but hate most of the bands they're associated with and I gave up caring about that quite some time ago. All I can say is that, if they can't come out and play headline shows, I'd like to be able to see them at a festival where there may be a few more bands I'd be interested in seeing. Admittedly there's no real reason why they would come back to Australia, apart from the fact they have just had a lawsuit filed against them by Variety magazine dropped, but it has been a while between tours and surely they want us to keep them fresh in our minds, right? The fact they haven't put a record out in years means there's not much in the way of new music for me to post here, so here's a live video of their 2000 song Behind The Music.

MURDER CITY DEVILS

I don't, in any way, shape or form, believe that Soundwave will tour Murder City Devils, but just in case it does happen (and it surely won't) I want them to know that this is a decision that has a hefty amount of support from yours truly and I dare say hundreds (maybe thousands) of garage rock nerds around the country. I'm not all that old so I don't know if this band has ever toured Australia, but I do know that they released a single at the end of last year that was pretty fucking rad so at least have a listen to it and think about what it might be like if they did play at Soundwave.

As much as I'd love to see AC/DC and Refused, I don't think it'll happen. I also love the idea of seeing Bad Brains, but I don't think it would really be all that great in actuality. Metallica might come, but I don't really care. I'd secretly like to see Bring Me The Horizon back here, but I don't think Soundwave will need any encouragement for that to happen and, even though Melvins have a new record out, I fear it may be too soon for Soundwave to bring them back...

What's the bet none of my choices end up on the line up? Who do you want to see?