Live Review: The Beards, Franky Walnut

It was a chant of “you're a wanker” echoing throughout Astor Theatre on Sunday night that cemented opener Franky Walnut a place in the hearts of all those in attendance. Walnut is about as Australian as they get, and sings mostly about Australia – he even used a good old Australian thong as a plectrum in his penultimate song, As Australian As, which had the crowd roaring with delight.

The concept is simple: four men with beards, singing about beards. ZZ Top meets Angus Young meets Jack Black – enter The Beards. The audience surged forward punching the air and chanting, “beards, beards,” – something heard throughout the night.
Every man in the audience had a beard.  Long beards, short beards, scraggy beards, flowing beards, hipster beards and even fake beards.  T-shirts sported beards and beard quotes.

Having had much success with their first three albums here in Australia, and now internationally acclaimed and determined to prove the people who said they couldn't write another album about beards wrong, they've produced The Beard Album, cementing their love and passion for all things beard-related in what seems to be more of a calling to convince the world's men (and women) that they should grow beards.

And, according to The Beards, “it only takes a fortnight to grow a decent beard.” Political correctness has gone mad… men are blokes and blokes should have beards and hail to the women who do, too! The Beards have an electric presence on stage, talented musicians who could doubtless sing about any subject but for now have surrendered their lives to the beard. Throughout the night beards were stroked and combed in open exhibitions of “beard love”.

Classics such as The Beard Accessory Store and I'm In The Mood… For Beards were on show, plus old favourites, among others If Your Dad Doesn't Have A Beard, You Have Two Mums, which sent the audience into euphoria. The whole evening was building towards a satisfying end, with a huge introduction to You Should Consider Having Sex With A Bearded Man sung by a sexy, open-shirted, bearded man behind mysterious glasses. If this wasn't going to make the ladies go home with a man of beard then nothing ever would. The Beards left the stage and the chants began again.  Finishing with No Beard, No Good, which was indeed good, it was a beautiful night of beards, and it would be safe to say that few have shaved since.