Yes/No: Australia Votes On Independence From Madden Brothers

A mixture of nervousness and tension is sweeping across Australia today as the country prepares to vote on what could be the most historic decision in centuries.

In a snap referendum called by the Federal government, Australian citizens are deciding whether to declare themselves independent from The Madden Brothers. The American ‘singers’ have become an increasingly prominent feature on Australian culture in recent years, leading to a groundswell movement that has been driven by frustration – and recently anger.

Campaigning has hit fever pitch in the hours before the vote, when the public will vote either ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ to the question: ‘Should we ban The Madden Brothers from Australia?’

Staunch Yes campaigner Billy Butterworth summed up the mood outside a polling booth today.

“I didn’t vote for Tony Abbott, but I can deal with that,” he said. “But the fucking Madden Brothers? I definitely didn’t vote for that. No, it’s time we as a nation stood up for ourselves and took our destiny into our own hands.”

Sarah Freese said she’d be voting ‘No’ today, saying, “I find their pop rock tunes quite catchy, actually, and their punk-rock tattoos are dangerous enough for my teenage daughter to be interested in while safe enough for me to feel comfortable with.”

Vote Yes campaign manager Luke Williamson said that, whatever the decision today, he’s sought assurances from the government that the prominence of the Madden Brothers will be tempered.

“Even if there is a no vote, we want assurances that changes will be made,” he said. “No more than one of them in the country at the time and I they want to judge The Voice they can’t play before or at half-time of televised football matches. They’ll have to make a call.”