The 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia' Gang Are Writing A Book

23 July 2014 | 6:00 pm | Staff Writer

It's unclear whether lessons in mastery of karate and friendship will be included

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “Gee, the characters on It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia sure have got this ‘living life’ business down to a fine art; I wish I could learn their mysterious ways,” then you probably need to seriously re-evaluate your days. Moreover, though, you’ll be thrilled to know that Dennis, Mac, Dee, Charlie and Frank – The Gang – are writing a self-help book.

Due for release at “later bar, night or day sometime” (aka January 6, 2015) via HarperCollins, The 7 Secrets Of Awakening The Highly Effective Four-Hour Giant,Today sees The Gang – played on-screen by Glenn Howerton, Rob McElhenney, Kaitlin Olson, Charlie Day and Danny DeVito – take over a book deal somehow wrangled by group illiterate Charlie Kelly to execute their latest get-rich-quick scheme, which covers such crucial topics as relationships, financial success and career advice, fashion and personal grooming, health and diet, survival skills, and a wealth of other tips, tricks, advice and recipes (Milk-steak and rum-ham better be included, or heads will roll).

So, pop that shirt off, cultivate some mass, call your friends “bitches” all day long, re-invest in Kitten Mittens quick-smart, and get in your pre-orders, friends, because The Gang evidently know what they’re talking about, and have done for years.

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At least... that seems to be the implication.