Did Jessica Mauboy Save Us From Eurovision Shame?

Have you ever been conflicted about something? Like, really conflicted? Not in a “What outfit should I wear today?” or “Should I buy food or drugs this week?” sense; more that kind of feeling you get when laughing about otherwise very serious things, like how that British guy who made millions selling Segways died when he accidentally rolled his Segway off a cliff.

You know it's wrong, and tragic, and it's disrespectful to be giggling like an insolent child – a man died, for crying out loud – but damned if the mental image of someone just whizzing by on a stupid-looking two-wheeled motorised platform and flying straight off a precipice into the abyss below isn't at least a little bit comical. The joke works, as long as you don't spend too long thinking about the implications of the punchline.

 That's the kind of inner conflict that arises when watching the otherwise respectable Jessica Mauboy do her thing at the semi-finals of this year's Eurovision contest – which aired this morning on SBS One (to be repeated tonight at 8.30pm) – because, frankly, despite all the positive overtones and legitimately good things her performance achieves on both a purely aesthetic and, more importantly, cultural level, the whole affair in the wider context is so embarrassing as to wish you'd been born a New Zealander (oh, calm down):

First off, what is that regrettable “let's relocate the continent to just off Europe so we can be a part of Eurovision” sketch all about? Are we suddenly super keen to be included in the competition? Weren't we all just enjoying half-heartedly laughing at the contestants, and occasionally willing one of them to actually win?

Admittedly, it has nothing to do with Our Jess' performance, and more to do with Julia Zemiro's complicity in one of the most awkward and ill-advised vignettes she's ever been a part of – and that includes her entire tenure on Totally Full Frontal (screw that show, seriously). It's hard to figure out what the real point of the piece was, because the obvious message is one of neediness and desperation to be included, as well as admitting that for us to be eligible for Eurovision we'd have to physically leave Oceania, which, you know, isn't a massive affront to the non-European Australians among us or anything (you know they exist, right?).

So far, we're off to a bad start. And it just gets worse.

Aside from the stage suddenly looking like it exploded with rejects from The Afternoon Australian Stereotype Hour on Channel Bonza, we're treated to a kitsch, showtuney nightmare of colour and choreography that is supposed to show off what our fine country has to offer – aside from an apparent hesitance to embrace its place as a part of the Asia-Pacific community – which probably explains the lifeguards and swag-people and AFL players and… the guy in the giant fly costume.

If you have any modicum of self-awareness about you at all, the almost two-minute-long intro song feels like an eternity of shame, a gaudy gallery of clichés and laziness on the part of everyone involved.

Thankfully, Mauboy herself generally does a great deal to undo the damage wrought by her opening act.

The acclaimed singer starts off a little shakily in the voice department, which seems more to do with the low register she's fighting than any real ineptitude on her part, since she manages to take control easily once the melody ascends to a higher range.

We would usually abstain from bothering to comment on anything so banal as what a singer is wearing when they perform, if not for the fact that Mauboy's big-ass silver dress clearly inhibits her natural, flowing (choreographed) movement, relegating what should have been evocative dance moves to little more than looking occasionally like it's riding funny and the only way to fix it is by convulsing rhythmically for a few seconds.

However, even if everything else was a total car crash, there is no denying the singular crowning moment for Mauboy – and Indigenous Australians everywhere – when, at the end of the song, an astronaut descends from above holding an Australian Union Jack flag before, as he lands, flipping it round to reveal the tri-colour Indigenous flag:

This stands out, far and away, as the most meaningful and powerful moment of the entire piece, and it comes in the dying seconds of the performance. Still, it is refreshing – especially having weathered all the hideous, Euro-centric stereotypes that plagued everything about the performance up until the second Mauboy stepped on stage – to see the original Australia have the final statement in a performance piece celebrating the country in front of millions, and it is an important moment in visibly strengthening Indigenous representation, not just at home but internationally.

It may sound like a cheesy sentiment, but even if this was “one small step for Eurovision”, as the concluding voiceover maintains, it has the potential to incite a giant cultural leap for Australia, if we let it, and not in the context of being added to the competition field.

If you take anything positive away from the performance at all, please let it be that.