Live Review: Secret Garden Festival

27 February 2017 | 8:58 am | Mick Radojkovic

"The festival rang out with naked dancing to George Michael in Pink Palace before Sandstorm was dropped by DJ Levins and the rain started to fall."

Friday

It's a formula that has worked for nine years: a community-run festival set up on a dairy farm property in South Western Sydney with pop-up parties, profits going to worthy charities, dress-up themes on each night, a strict no dickhead policy and a top-notch local line-up that's only announced once the festival has sold out.

Huge car queues welcomed the punters early on Friday afternoon and there was an obvious reason. Security, police and dogs crawled over each vehicle like ants as they entered the site. It was luck of the draw if you brought contraband to the festival, hoping to sneak it in. Some cars were targeted and ransacked while others cruised through fairly easily. The contention was with the sniffer dogs, some of which were led directly into cars. How is that okay? Particularly with a dubious track record of detection?

Exploring the site early was an adventure. Royal Court is the large, main-stage area, but it was the smaller stages that made this festival 'secret'. Primordial Soupsphere (great name) was a distant doof-cave in the forest, the treehouse at the Fortune Deluxe stage was ridiculously cool and Dave's Houseparty was a decked-out house — not to mention the Applause corner and Kissing Booth!

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The first act to grace the main stage was Rackett. This four-piece from the inner west put on a great live show and deserved a bigger crowd. Frontwoman Bec Callander worked the stage perfectly (the best of the whole weekend). See this band in a small club and their rocking, fun intensity will blow you away.

We explored the site more as the Camp Queen stage opened with DJ Mowgli May. Her hip hop mix was the perfect party-starter for the Royal Rave theme; with dozens of queens (the drag type and the royal type), princes and even a 'spin king'. Speaking of hip hop, B Wise, a real local to the area and newest member of the Elefant Traks family, was up next. His habit of encouraging the crowd to meet someone new worked well at the festival and his set flowed beautifully from downbeat and introspective to dancefloor fillers.

The first night's crowd was not the full contingent, but they brought the noise during Urthboy's set. Not content with a stage of all-stars including Ev Jones, Meklit Kibret and Chaos Emerald, he also brought out Secret Garden alumni Kira Puru for a couple of tracks. Jayteehazard held down the beats with precision (even with a recovering broken rib). Urthboy gave his set everything we've come to expect from one of Australia's biggest MCs.

We watched the loose and fun White Keys/Black Stripes Dance Hour in Pink Palace and then danced the night away to Rimbombo in a tree house before tucking into the tent, pacing ourselves for the huge second day.

The food options at the festival were decent. Your standard food trucks were in attendance and there was little queueing. Hot tip: the creole fried chicken.

Saturday

The day was expected to be interrupted by rain, but we touched wood and the overcast clouds didn't burst for most of the day. In fact, the weather was almost perfect for a festival. Not too hot or cold and not windy or wet. The Secret Garden Gods were smiling on us.

The great part about a dress-up festival? The morning was consumed with preparation of our get-up. The campground was full of people getting dressed, primped, preened and glittered for the "your choice" day of costume. It really was amazing to see so many people making the effort and it added a sense of playfulness to the weekend.

A couple of people dressed as original Shapes along with a very smart-looking Mr Squiggle (who made it through to the final for best-dressed on the day).

The Ruminaters and their style of '70s-inspired rock kicked off the Saturday program and their music was a good backdrop to the arrival of people from the campground. We wandered to the Fortuna Deluxe stage and caught improv troupe, Confetti Gun. How did improvisation work at a festival? Pretty good. Their random skits and audience participation were an excellent alternative to the music. Similarly, Gen Fricker arrived on the Carmen Verandah to perform a set of her musical comedy and stand-up. It was a tough gig to grab people's attention while a random bell rang intermittently at the bar (what was that?), but for the people that listened, they appreciated a gloriously funny little set.

Back at Royal Court, Dylan Joel, a late addition to the line-up, was getting the crowd involved with his melodious raps. He even threw in a little old school '90s medley in the middle. His positive tip was infectious and led perfectly into what happened next.

The DJ music was interrupted and a brass band procession made its way towards the stage. We were about to be witnesses in a legitimate wedding ceremony in front of the main stage. The crowd was encouraged to sit down as we watched the marriage of James and Alexis. It was a heart-warming exchange of vows and rings made all the better with the breakout of applause after each reading. The couple were then hoisted into a 'Just Married' crane and threw daffodils into the crowd. It was truly a gorgeous event and really something to tell the kids.

Recent jet-setter, Alex Lahey, told us that she had just witnessed her first-ever wedding and launched into a set of hits from her EP B-Grade University and upcoming debut album. No jetlag here, though, as her set was perfectly paced and interspersed with her charismatic banter.

A highlight of the festival was the only international act on the line-up. South African Youngsta CPT (with the CPT standing for Cape Town) took to the Wrangler Pub stage and blew our inebriated minds. His raps were delivered with spitting intensity. We stayed at the stage to bathe in the weird fun (and sweat) of Spod, but left before the testosterone-heavy Birdman Or The Unexpected Virtue Of A Tony Hawk Pro Skater Band graced the stage (which, from all reports, was epic).

As the night progressed, we swooned at The Jezabels' set and fell in love as pink-suited Donny Benet and friends performed crowd-picked Love Song Dedications. The festival rang out with naked dancing to George Michael in Pink Palace before Sandstorm was dropped by DJ Levins and the rain started to fall.

The beats continued into the night, but we were spent and fell asleep to the ringing in our ears accompanying the rain on our tent. The morning saw drug and alcohol testing available for all campers to avoid the nasty police surprise down the road, already catching a few victims early on the Sunday morning in a blatant display of revenue raising.

Despite Sydney's fun police, Secret Garden Festival was a credit to the organisers, the land owners and all of the attendees, with little or no unruly crowd behaviour witnessed. The spirit and size of the festival was just right and we wait excitedly for the tenth anniversary in 2018.