Prepare The Battlefield

I guess I should be happy that people are interested in my band… But for some reason I'm not!" Oderus Urungus, the aeons-old space alien and lead singer of Gwar, is in a cantankerous mood. Or at least a mood more cantankerous than is usual for his quarrelsome self. He's had to talk to a slew of goddamned music journalists in a row. How many you might ask? "Five hundred!" Urungus yells, groaning as yet another interview commences. 

"Ask me anything," Urungus finally acquiesces. "About Gwar, Soundwave, Battle Maximus, the history of the universe… Anything a space asshole might know." Well, Oderus, seeing as you bring it up, why don't we start with the history of the universe? "That big bang, that's bullshit. The Master created the galaxy and all forms of life. Then I was born, fully grown, and I dropped from a syntho-womb into a gladiatorial arena where I joined the Scumdogs of the Universe. The Master created the Scumdogs so he could have war and that made everything more interesting. Where it goes from here, I don't know. Because we actually defeated The Master a few albums ago, so it's complete chaos out there now… But don't believe these scientists of yours, they're full of shit."

Now that's cleared up, there's the new record and the band's upcoming Soundwave run, which will mark their second Australia tour. Since the band's last visit, Urungus and his band of Scumdogs have had to grieve the loss of guitarist Flattus Maximus. Pretending to be space aliens is all good fun, but when discussing Maximus ‐ a character played by Cory Smoot ‐ passing less than two years ago, Urungus lapses into the voice of Dave Brockie.  "After we lost Flattus, it was a dark time for Gwar, but we decided we had to carry on and create an album that he would be proud of from the place in the cosmos where he's looking down upon us. We weren't going to let death stop Gwar. After a brief spell of tragic news, yes, even Gwar can have bad days, we bounced back."

As though to prove his point, Brockie quickly finds his voice as Urungus again: "When fate deals you a fucked-up set of cards, you can take that as an opportunity to display your matchless superiority, and that's exactly what we did."

That's all Urungus really offers about the new record, except mentioning in passing that it's probably more thrashy. Needless to say though, Battle Maximus rules. It doesn't really require any extra promotion on the frontman's part. And that's partly due to the fact it received an indirect and entirely unexpected promotional push when a Gwar fan decided to start a petition to get them to play the half-time show at the 2015 Super Bowl, despite the spot generally being reserved for pop mega-stars who are bland enough to not offend potential advertisers. At the time of writing, that petition had over 43,000 signatures and counting. But what does Urungus think of Gwar's chances of actually getting to play the Super Bowl half-time show? "I'm not so interested as playing the half-time show as I am actually playing the game. And showing all these Americans just how stupid it is, by ripping apart all of the other teams. But if the human race absolutely can't take another set by bands as terrible as The Black Eyed Peas or Bruno Mars, I suppose Gwar will step in there. Maybe with some other metal bands. I mean, it just makes fucking sense, a metal Super Bowl show."

Even if that show never happens ‐ and let's face it, chances aren't that great ‐ Urungus and Gwar are still going to be putting on their newest show the world over. Meanwhile, ahead of their return to Australia, Urungus breaks down what unsuspecting bohabs (Gwar-ese for 'fan') can expect from the Scumdogs. "We're going to spray shit all over you. And we're going to treat you to the most awesome rock'n'roll show out there. And we're going to steal your girlfriends and stick them in our meat grinder and we're going to crush your skulls with our giant broadswords, and even though all of your friends will be dead and you'll be covered in blood from head to toe, you're still going to say 'that was the best fucking time I've ever had in my life'."

What would it take to destroy Gwar? "I suppose we would have to be disintegrated by some kind of Death Star-like plasma beam. I mean, we would have to be physically killed. And that's something that I've sought my entire life, my own death, but I haven't been able to achieve it yet, so I don't think it's going to happen any time soon."