Skip to main content


Australian Music Festivals Look To Oprah As Drug Squad

Jan 18th 2013 | SPA Confidential
Oprah Winfrey is "better than a lie detector" and Australian music festivals want her on board.

SPA Confidential has learned today that a number of prominent Australian music festivals are looking to hire the world's most popular talk show host, Oprah Winfrey, for upcoming events, on the back of this morning's interview with disgraced “cyclist” Lance Armstrong.

“If we can get drug offenders to confess to possession the way that Lance did to Oprah this morning we could save so much hassle,” one festival representative told us this afternoon. “People are sick of waiting in line for extended periods of time for their chance to lie to officers about the gram of speed they've hidden in their underpants. All the while they're missing valuable time in the beer queues and silent discos that they came to experience.”

Another source said Winfrey was “better than a lie detector” and that she could “draw blood from a stoner”.

With police cracking down on recreational drug use at music festivals over the past couple of years, the landscape of these events has changed greatly. Some revellers have complained about feeling uneasy with such a large police presence at the entrance to said events, something that the Winfrey touch might help curb.

“Oprah has a considerate but firm touch,” said one festival director. “We'd like to have her deal with the smaller stuff and maybe get Gayle [King, Winfrey's best friend and confidant for many decades] over to really fuck up the guys who are carrying larger quantities.”

When asked if Winfrey would be used in any other capacities while out in the country for their event, organisers believed the opportunities were “endless”.

“Well we would get her on board as a kind of tour counsellor, that's for sure,” one source said. “There are a lot of repressed memories that some of our bands, particularly the heavy ones, ought to be dealing with but aren't. I think Oprah is just the person to get them performing at their best.”

Police did not comment on this story because we did not ask them to.


Poster IT

Connect with The Music

Subscribe to Daily Newsletter


<span>The Rolling Stones Press Shoot</span><br />Adelaide Oval

The Rolling Stones Press Shoot
Adelaide Oval

<span>The Blurst Of Times Festival</span><br />

The Blurst Of Times Festival

<span>Out On The Weekend Festival</span><br />

Out On The Weekend Festival

<span>Allday</span><br />Fowlers Live

Fowlers Live

<span>Thirsty Merc</span><br />The Basement

Thirsty Merc
The Basement

<span>Say Anything</span><br />Amplifier

Say Anything

<span>Torche</span><br />Oxford Art Factory

Oxford Art Factory

<span>The Whitlams</span><br />Metro Theatre

The Whitlams
Metro Theatre

<span>Soulfest</span><br />Sidney Myer Music Bowl, Melbourne

Sidney Myer Music Bowl, Melbourne

this week's magazine

Digital Version
Airlie Beach Music Festival Australasian Worldwide Music Expo Beyond The Valley BIGSOUND Bleach Festival Blue Mountains Music Festival Blues At Bridgetown Bluesfest Breakfest Brisbane Festival Brunswick Music Festival Bruthen Blues & Arts Festival Caloundra Music Festival Campfire Festival CoLAB Deni Blues & Roots Dungog Festival Earth Frequency Festival Fairbridge Folk Festival Falls Festival Falls Festival Falls Festival Festival Of The Sun Follow The Sun Festival Future Music Festival Future Music Festival Future Music Festival Future Music Festival Future Music Festival Gorgeous Festival Great Southern Blues Festival Gympie Music Muster HyperFest JamGrass Music Festival Jungle Love Music & Arts Festival Just For Laughs Let Them Eat Cake Listen Out Listen Out Listen Out Listen Out Lost Paradise Manifest Melbourne Music Week Meredith Music Festival Mitchell Creek Rock 'n' Blues MOFO Mullum Music Festival Nannup Music Festival Noosa Jazz Festival NYE On The Hill Originals Music Festival Out On The Weekend Outlet Music Festival OutsideIn Paradise Music Festival Poison City Weekender Port Fairy Folk Festival Queenscliff Music Festival Rainbow Serpent Festival Riverboats Music Festival Rottofest Soulfest Soulfest Soulfest Soundwave Soundwave Soundwave Soundwave Southbound Splendour In The Grass St Jerome's Laneway Festival St Jerome's Laneway Festival St Jerome's Laneway Festival St Jerome's Laneway Festival St Jerome's Laneway Festival Stereosonic Stereosonic Stereosonic Stereosonic Stereosonic Strawberry Fields Subsonic Sugar Mountain Festival Sydney Country Music Festival Sydney Fringe Festival Tamworth Country Music Festival The Blurst Of Times Festival The Hills Are Alive Toowoomba Carnival Of Flowers UNIFY: A Heavy Music Gathering Valley Fiesta WAM Festival WOMAdelaide Woodford Folk Festival Yours And Owls

The Music Store

Australasian Music Industry Directory
The ultimate print sourcebook for all the contacts…
Jun 18th 2014
Arts Advertising Packages
The Music Arts Packages provide promotion in The Music…
Jun 18th 2014
Indie Band Advertising Packages
The Music Indie Band Packages provide promotion in…
Jun 18th 2014
Galleon Krueger for Sale
Galleon Krueger Bass Amplifier. 1001RB As new, current…
Jul 12th 2014
Jazz guitarists wanted for weekend jams.
We are a bass and drums unit rehearsing in St Peters…
Jul 12th 2014
Premier Sydney Punk/Rock Band seeks Drummer
One of Sydneys Premier Punk Rock Bands seeks energetic…
Jun 18th 2014