The damage is already done, with the end of the set marked by half-hearted applause and three seconds of awkward silence that sees everyone exit en masse as soon as the GTFO music comes on.
Sydney-based, hot new young things and dual headliners, Battleships (pronounced like two or more big fuck-off war machines) and Nantes (pronounced like a marketing stunt), take to the stage to a typically cold Melbourne welcome.
In front of a reasonably full venue, Battleships woo us to the extent that we forgive lead singer Jordan Sturdee for wearing a tuxedo. Sturdee's falsetto vocals are impressive to say the least. They're smooth, consistent and perfectly complement Battleships' ethereal melodies and shoegaze rhythms. They play through their set in a rather odd business-like manner, which is strange as they are meant to be co-headlining. It doesn't matter however, as after a gruff “thank you” to everyone, they leave the crowd rocking out to their single In Retrospect.
Nantes, who are Joy Divison-esque but with a load more synth, don't really improve on Sturdee's bantering skills, with lead singer David Rogers surprising us all with the oh so slightly aggressive statement, “Melbourne is fucking awesome! You guys don't know how lucky you are!” Confusion ensues. Did someone complain? Do we all seem depressed? Were we bitching about winning that most livable city (for a travelling international businessman) competition again? It is a mystery.
Rodgers' vocals are a mix between Julian Casablancas from The Strokes and Matt Berninger from The National. Unfortunately, Rogers' voice just lacks the depth and smoothness of Berninger's and the coolness and fuck-off attitude of Casablancas' (although he does try very, very hard). With lyrics that seem to contain every variation of “we never…” and “I don't…”, Rodgers really just comes off as a little whiny. However, with the amount of delay and reverb employed, it's clear that finding nuggets of wisdom in the chorus is not the reason we love stoner rock.
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While Nantes start well, sound issues across the first couple of songs reduce us to watching musicians playing as fast as they can to make it end as soon as possible. They do manage to sort this all out by Hail and Charlie, demonstrating a music style characterised by big sounds, slow builds, enthusiastic performances and tight musicianship.
Despite this, however, the damage is already done, with the end of the set marked by half-hearted applause and three seconds of awkward silence that sees everyone exit en masse as soon as the GTFO music comes on.