Album Review: Me in a Million - 'Still in the Balance'

Here we go again. Another trash-core band, ripping off the sound of bands like Woe, Is Me, Crown the Empire and A Day To Remember to create genuinely uninspiring music with equally dreadful lyrics. Me in a Million are essentially the living embodiment of everything not to do on a record. 

From beginning to end, everything on 'Still in the Balance' feels as stale and as dry as bread left out of the packet by your shit of a little brother. It also has as much intuitive thinking and planning as him. Intro, Verse, Chorus, Verse, Breakdown or Clean Bridge and Chorus serves as the formula that the band inject into EVERY FUCKING SONG!

Now this kind of repetition and generic tendency wouldn't be a problem if the passion and energy they offer and give off wasn't diminished by the shit tons of processing and layering done to every single instrument. The drums (which are just playing non-stop breakdowns) sound as fake as Scarlett Johansson's tits look, the guitars are just plain and boring, and holy shit the vocals...

Let's take it all down. The screams are decent but they are stuttered, have processed tones and pitch editing done to them more times then you have extremities. This brings them to a level of aesthetic so low, Mariana's Trench is jealous.

Clean vocal wise it's also not bad to begin with. But what Me in a Million didn't learn on the screams is DON'T FUCKING EDIT THEM TO THE POINT OF DEATH! Ugh, the sheer amount of layering is incredible; the lyrics may as well read, "there is seventeen of me singing at once!" Any ounce of passion and life you could have squeezed out of them is wiped away by the magical program known as Melodyne.

And what the absolute hell is up with the atmospherically synth that sounds like machinery operating in a really bad wind? It's at the start of every track or at least jammed at the back. It does absolutely nothing for the songs. We repeat; ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Do we have to talk about the lyrics? To sum it up in five words: fuck you, we're inspirational, scream! Every song deals with haters, rising above the bullies who picked on you for your skinny jeans and long hair and repeat! Which is that odd vocal noise Stray From the Path have done ever since 2010 for those who don't know.  

Oh and heads up, there is an amazing electronica track on there that is just fucking incredible. No we're serious! It is SO original and aesthetically pleasing that you will repeat it over and over! Okay, maybe we aren't being serious...  

This album will leave you with a lot of questions. "Why did I listen to this crap?" "Can I get those thrifty-five minutes back?" "Why is Cameron Mizell, the producer, doing guest vocals. Get back in the control room you!" And "Are they serious?" Me in a Million prove that the metalcore isn't dead; it's just slowly dying and withering away to a speck of dust that will have no value, worth or integrity by 2016. 'Still in the Balance' has as much depth and originality as a bowl of soup from McDonalds. McDonalds don't serve soup.