'Beauty In All The Chaos': CXLOE Takes You Track By Track Through Her New EP

Heavy

Heavy is the title track of the EP and is all about the feeling I feel most days, and that is heavy. Because this is such an internal feeling, sometimes it bleeds out in whatever way it can; often into my relationships. The song talks about a relationship that was once light and full of love but now carries too much weight to handle. I feel this extreme switch with a lot of things in my life and most of the time its self-sabotage. Another beautiful trait of mine.

12 Steps 

12 Steps is about addiction. Addiction runs in my family and I’ve always wanted to tell my story in a way that felt comfortable to me and those around me. The song mirrors the steps of the program through the eyes of a toxic relationship. I’ve spent time over the years becoming familiar with the program and think it is as important to treat unhealthy, toxic relationships with the same attention. Whether the addiction is to alcohol, food, shopping or a person, it all comes back to pain. And that's something I can relate to. Seeking something or someone to mask pain. 

Addiction needs to be spoken about and not treated as a taboo topic. I’ll be donating my first week sales from all streaming sales to Lifeline. This song has been written from my experiences and I have the utmost respect for those battling addiction and thank those strong people in my life for letting me shine a light on these topics.

One And Lonely

One And Lonely is all about loneliness. I spend the majority of the year away from my partner and it always weighs on me heavily. This song talks about the endless flights and sleepless nights away from each other and how heavy this feeling is. I know I can be too much sometimes, and this song touches on these elements of push and pull that I put my partner through. “You’ll always be my One and Lonely” is probably one of my favourite lines off the whole EP. It captures love and sadness in a matter of words.

Swing

Swing is about my ever-changing emotions. Like a pendulum, I swing. From love to hate to high to low. The lyric "can you catch what I’m throwing at you" embodies these emotions perfectly because I always worry the people around me won’t be able to keep up or understand me. It’s exhausting sometimes... as a creative we often feel too much and this can be very debilitating. It dances along the lines of bipolar, which always frightens me. But these are just the workings of the brain which sometimes creates beauty in all the chaos. 

Plans

Plans is about having no plans. Finding your soulmate who can take you as you are even if you are an odd introvert. I don’t like small talk or going out, ever, so when I met my partner I felt an overwhelming sense of love and comfort when we didn’t have to do anything or go anywhere and could still enjoy each other's company. This is a very settling feeling for someone with anxiety. 

Creature

The song Creature comes from the phrase 'Creature of Habit'. I felt like this song was perfect for this EP as it is a trait of mine that dictates a lot of my decisions. The song is about how inherently animalistic we are and how hard it is to fight habits that make us feel whole. I’ve also never been able to quite understand myself and why my brain works the way it does so calling myself a creature resonated with me. A lot.