The Quick Guide To Erotic Intelligence For Dummies

When I decided to make a comedy show called Erotic Intelligence For Dummies, exploring my interest in ethical non-monogamy and how to survive and thrive in a long-term relationship, I knew the research was going to be pretty interesting.

As it turns out, polyamory and other styles of non-monogamy are growing in popularity and recognition around the world. It's even listed as a 'Top Trends Of 2017' by renowned advertising agency Sparks & Honey in their A-Z Culture Glossary.

I would argue that humans have been doing non-monogamy for millennia and that perhaps we're just making our way back to a more open, connected and accepting society. Hooray for that! But whatever, or whoever, floats your boat, if you want to be trendy AND sexy in 2017 here are some need-to-know terms.

POLYAMORY: Literally meaning poly: many + amor: love. The practice of maintaining multiple sexual and/or romantic relationships simultaneously, with the full knowledge and consent of all people involved.

RELATIONSHIP ANARCHY: The practice of forming relationships that are not bound by rules or labels. Any relationship choice is (or should be) allowable.

PRIMARY/SECONDARY: A polyamorous relationship structure in which a person has multiple partners who are not equal in terms of interconnection, emotional intensity, practical and financial matters or power within the relationship.

UNICORN: A single female who wants to form a long-term, committed sexual relationship with a heterosexual couple without any emotional needs or pressures - she's just in it for the sex. Turns out everyone's looking for her but no one can find her, that's why she's named after a mythical creature! (Since doing the show, I've also learned that everyone wants to be a 'Unicorn', even if they don't know what that actually entails.)

COMPERSION: A feeling of joy one gets when a loved one takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship.

TOCOTOX: An acronym often used online meaning "Too Complicated To Explain"

POLYSATURATED: A Polyamorous person who is not open to new relationships or new partners due to the number of existing partners. The opposite of this is PolyUNsaturated, of course!

TRIAD: A polyamorous relationship composed of three people.

QUAD: A polyamorous relationship involving four people, each of whom may or may not be sexually and emotionally involved with all the other members.