$5 Comedy Variety Hour

28 March 2013 | 12:46 pm | Staff Writer

"I’m sorry Vanessa Hudgens but I won’t be returning your calls!"

Describe yourself in exactly 140 characters (length of a tweet)? I'm just a man answering questions for a magazine, asking the reader to love him. Great now I need more to cover it ruining my parody.

Who is your biggest celebrity crush and why? Myself for getting exactly 140 characters above! I'd name someone but you know every time I mention in an interview that I find a celebrity attractive, they blow up my phone up with so many texts and calls that I need a new number. I'm sorry Vanessa Hudgens but I won't be returning your calls!

What's your favourite team sport and why? Red Bull Formula 1 team. Why? Mark Webber's wife, 'nuff said!

What's a nightmare you've had recently? A world without Facebook! I had to actually talk to people in awkward social situations! There was no need to go to the gym anymore because I couldn't check in. But worst of all, I had to actually deal with my personal problems rather than posting a needy status about how much my life sucks. THE HORROR!

What are you looking forward to the most at MICF? In the Melbourne International Comedy Festival the performers are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The people who look forward to particular things at MICF and those who just go with the flow. These are the stories of the latter.

WHEN & WHERE: Thursday 28 March to Sunday 7 April, MICF, Felix Bar