Study Shows Everyone Has Cute Footage Of Themselves Singing As A Kid

Every adult in the country between the ages of 18 and 30 has video footage of themselves performing a cute creative routine as a child, according to results of a recent study carried out by the Australian Institute For Alternatives To Doing Any Disease Research.

Following the emergence of a handful of childhood and adolescent videos depicting now-famous people such as Lorde, Tupac Shakur and Kanye West performing for the camera, surely indicating their respective destinies in stardom, the AIFATDADR commissioned the study to determine if anybody should care about them.

“What we found was quite expected – that every single child that has grown up since the early 1980s has, through parent, guardian or worryingly devoted stranger, at least one piece of footage of them singing, dancing, joking, or otherwise being creative for the camera,” the study’s lead science guy, Dr Reece Entfull-Bittermann, told SPA Confidential.

“It really shouldn’t be considered remarkable that some people who grew up to become famous sang for their parents’ entertainment when they were children. It’s a time-honoured tradition – since at least, like, the late 1970s – among those who have borne offspring to attempt to capture a glimmer of immortality through enshrining their legacy via the magic of film, so it makes sense that they’d make their kid do a song or dance while they’re at it.

AIFATDADR chief executive, Dr Christine Biologist, also expressed a lack of surprise at the study’s outcome.

“I filmed my son performing a simply wonderful rendition of Michael Jackson’s Heal The World when he was six or so,” Dr Biologist said. “Marvellous voice. Moves like Jagger. But he’s in real estate now, so we don’t really talk all that much.

“That Lorde, though – isn’t she incredible?”