Survey Suggests Listening To Rihanna In A Tent At Glastonbury Will Probably Get You Laid

A survey of 1000 British festival-goers conducted by adult company Lovehoney has revealed some interesting — and, in some cases, mildly upsetting — facts about trends and opinions about engaging in some care-free sexytimes at UK festivals, including the fact that the respondents rank portaloos as a top-10 location in which to do it.

Yup, as noted by Team Rock, along with insights such as the fact that Glastonbury is seen as the most promiscuous of the kingdom's mega-events — with 34% of respondents identifying it as such, and the too-appropriately named Creamfields landing second with 13% — and that R&B is understood to be the best type of music to have sex to at a festival (25% of respondents; a similar figure — 30% — declared Rihanna the summer headliner they'd most want to bang along to), we find out that British punters are totally cool with bumping uglies in the shitters, voting it into #9 on the list of best places for sex at a festival as opposed to "never in a million years; have you actually been inside a festival portaloo before?".

At least the rankings aren't totally devoid of sense; "Tent" was the #1 response, followed by "Car", which somehow outranked "Campervan" (presumably a more comfortable, private, and generally better option). Other results of note include the fact that heavy-metal mecca Download Festival was ranked #3 for promiscuity with 10% of the vote — you go get it, metalheads! — ahead of the likes of V Festival, Reading & Leeds festivals and the Isle Of Wight.

Dance and rock music are apparently equal runners-up to R&B's crowning glory as most fuck-worthy genre, with 22% of the vote apiece, quite a ways ahead of the next-nearest competitor, the entirely vague descriptor Indie (11%). Despite the march of time and gradual de-clawing of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, they're the second-highest act after Ri-Ri for bucket-list boning among the included crop of headliners, taking 17% of the vote; Adele (10%) and Queen (7%) only match that figure between them, with the latter only coming in half-a-percent ahead of veteran metal act Iron Maiden — who themselves outranked Kasabian, The Cure and Justin Bieber as good live soundtracks to some in-pit in-out.

If 'Lovehoney' sounds familiar to you, you may remember them as being the company behind Motley Crue's recently announced line of sex toys. Check out their survey's full results below.

Most promiscuous music festival

1. Glastonbury 34%
2. Creamfields 13%
3. Download 10%
4. T In The Park 9%
5. V Festival 8%
6. The Secret Garden Party 7%
7. Leeds 6%
8. Isle of Wight 5%
9. Reading 4%
10. Bestival 2%
11. Latitude 1%

Best type of music to have sex to at a festival

1. R&B 25%
2. Dance 22%
3. Rock 22%
4. Indie 11%
5. Metal 8%
6. Pop 6%
7. Rap 1%

Which of this summer's headliners would most likely put you in the mood for sex?

1. Rihanna 30%
2. Red Hot Chilli Peppers 17%
3. Adele 10%
4. Coldplay 9%
5. Muse 7.5%
6. Queen 7%
7. Iron Maiden 6.5%
8. Kasabian 5%
9. The Cure 3%
10. Justin Bieber 2%

Best place for sex at a festival

1. Tent
2. Car
3. Campervan
4. Quiet spot in a field
5. Yurt
6. Backstage
7. Dance tent
8. In the crowd
9. Portaloo