John Oliver Calls For Aussie Music, Murdoch & Mel Gibson To Be Banned From US

19 May 2015 | 9:12 am | Staff Writer

Thanks a bunch, Barnaby Joyce

On one hand, it would be easy to feel indignant about the frequency with which Australia finds itself in the crosshairs of US satirical news recap Last Week Tonight With John Oliver but, if we're really being honest, our country does a pretty good job of making itself a prime candidate for repeat pastings.

The most recent situation to have drawn the attention of Brit-bred comedian Oliver — who is headed Down Under for a two-date tour in just a couple of months — is the drama surrounding Agriculture Minister Barnaby Joyce​ and his possibly overly menacing reaction to finding out US actor Johnny Depp had smuggled his dogs, Pistol and Boo, into the country while filming the umpteenth Pirates Of The Caribbean movie.

All legitimate quarantine concerns aside, Joyce openly opining about the possible euthanasia of Depp's pets should they not meet deportation deadlines is what (rightly or wrongly) grabbed the world's attention, and, now that the United States has reclaimed the stylish but illegal pups, they're going to go ahead and demand the withdrawal of some highly prized Aussie exports in kind, including:

  • Vegemite, "which tastes like a kangaroo took a salty shit in a jar";
  • "Every shitty music album you've ever sent over here", namely releases by Jet, Silverchair, Savage Garden and "especially" Midnight Oil;
  • Rupert Murdoch;
  • Mel Gibson (born in Peekskill, NY, "but you raised him");
  • and "All the other celebrities and garbage you've sent our way", including Russell Crowe, Nicole Kidman, Foster's beer, The Wiggles, and Chris and Liam Hemsworth.

You can't fault them on Murdoch and Gibson, really, but that whole "we're keeping Hugh Jackman" clause is some pick-and-choosy bullshit. 

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Watch Oliver revel in easy ratings, and threaten to shoot a baby koala in the face, below.

John Oliver's impending Aussie visit hits Melbourne's Palais Theatre on Thursday, 27 August, and Sydney's State Theatre on Sunday, 30 August. See theGuide or check The Music App for more information.

The Comedy Channel airs Last Week Tonight With John Oliver at 6.30pm every Monday, express from the US.