A Brief History Of Unbearably Awkward Back-Up Dancing

Yesterday's Super Bowl halftime performance by pop starlet Katy Perry sent waves all across the internet, though it wasn't the flashy costume changes or ambitious production values that so feverishly captured the online world's attention as much as the now-infamous back-up dancer known as Left Shark.

In case you've missed the explosion in popularity for a man in a costume more akin to the Jaws projection in Back To The Future Part II than any real maritime animal, Left Shark rocketed to infamy for a spot of directionless flailing that appeared to betray the fact that the man in the suit — since revealed to be a dancer by the name of Bryan Gaw — had no idea what he was doing, especially when viewed alongside his far-more-in-time partner Right Shark (Scott Myrick) under the scrutiny of endless GIFs.

Although reports have since suggested that Left Shark's movements were intentionally goofy, the legend has taken root and the world is celebrating Left Shark as an icon of failure and sadness on the grandest of stages.

Still, Left Shark — and to be clear, we're obviously talking about the shark on our left, not Perry's — isn't that groundbreaking in terms of being unable to hide the soul-crushing nature of his chosen vocation, joining an ever-growing list of performers who just couldn't muster up the strength to mask the fact they are totally dead inside.

Take, for example, Benni Cinkle, an up-and-coming Californian performer who happened to go to school with briefly notable singer Rebecca Black and had the misfortune of appearing in the widely mocked video for Black's much-maligned weekend anthem Friday.

Well, not just appearing in it, but, alongside another (presumed) friend of Black's, appearing to be wishing for the merciful, bony hand of death to reach out and take her away from the soul-crushing horror of being trapped and immortalised in the Friday clip:

Look how sad they are. There is literally nothing uplifting about watching those girls dance behind Rebecca Black as she sings about how exciting it is for school to be over for another week. That first GIF is iconic for being a perfect representation of going along with something that your very bones are screaming at you to withdraw from.

Sometimes, it's not just individual dancers that fall prey to poor creative vision or bad execution; as we saw at last year's Eurovision Song Contest, an entire platoon of Australian dancers managed to beat back tears long enough to complete a stereotype-driven parade built on kitsch Australiana and latent discomfort.

Seriously, imagine you are a professional dancer, and you've put your life's efforts into making the big time, and when you finally hit the stage for a patriotic piece alongside several of your fellow countrymen, you're told you'll be playing the koala with a handbag, or the very literal Hockeyroo, just bouncing around as if you don't wish you were anywhere but there.

Guess it beats having the world see your face while engaging in this sort of thing, though.

Dancers have felt the harsh light of humiliation for years, though, well before the advent of programs such as So You Think You Can Dance or Dancing With The Stars (both of which, with hindsight, we could have written this entire article about). In fact, you need look no further than at any random episode of '80s US music-variety show Solid Gold to see a veritable smorgasbord of soul-destroying shimmying coming from all corners. In fact, let's literally just pick the first episode that comes up on YouTube and see what kind of greatness we end up with.

All done? There was a lot to take in there, we know, but tell us that you didn't miss this:

What the hell is that? Really, with such a long and colourful history of ineptitude, we're actually kind of surprised Left Shark got so singled out for his performance yesterday.

Then again...

God, he's brilliant.