Live Review: 'X Factor' Live Performances

Frothing teens with greedy eyes. There's really nothing quite like the energy they generate en masse. As our mini-bus negotiates the Fox Studios parking lot, there's a mob of potential "mosh pit" members being held back by security to allow for our safe passage. They look ready to break free and run through onward traffic if that means securing a front-row posi.

As we're fast tracked into the venue, The Warm-Up Guy Dave Eastgate (who has been with X Factor since the very beginning, along with judge Ronan Keating) is mid-stream and one of his favourite lines is "too posh to mosh". Has Adam Sandler immortalised a warm-up guy in film as yet?

There's a banner raised upfront that reads, "Adrien I love your eyebrows" (?) and many of these homemade affairs are double-sided as fans of the show hedge their bets at this early stage in the competition. The Warm-Up Guy instructs those audience members whose seats fall within one main camera's flight path to remain seated all night. Everyone else is encouraged to stand as often as desired. And guess which member of the judging panel's derrière requires a cushion? That would be brunette Minogue. There will be 13 live performances in total tonight, including the Wild Card (as yet unannounced).

Jack Keating (Ronan's 15-year-old son/mini-me) is in the house and seated a row behind us. Once the judging panel, which is rounded out by Natalie Bassingthwaite and Red Foo, take their places, the frequency with which their individual hair and makeup personnel hustle in with brushes borders on comical. And you know how on that Seinfeld episode Kramer was a Tony Awards seat filler? Well, X Factor's favoured seated audience members must have strong bladders, because seat fillers are required whenever punters go to the loo.

MEMORABLE MOMENTS

Tsunami Stage Set

The black fabric 'body of water' that threatened to swallow up Sydnee Carter in her rowboat while she attempted Coldplay's Don't Panic.

Ankle Flashers

Boy Band (who have now decided to go with the impossible-to-achieve moniker Younger Than Yesterday) don't own a pair of socks between them if their styling tonight is anything to go by.

Magic Mic

The Warm-Up Guy forgot to turn off his mic when his voice was no longer required, which resulted in his random backstage banter interrupting Nat Bass.

Second Fiddle

The Warm-Up Guy unexpectedly reminded Luke Jacobz that he came in off the bench after Matthew Newton stepped down as X Factor host and therefore came in as second choice.

Great Scott!

The realisation that Dean Ray (who reminded J-Lo of a cross-between Marilyn Manson and a Ken doll) is actually separated at birth from Thunderbirds' Scott Tracy.

'Ronan' (sorry) The Moment

Keating's revealing giggle fit while commending Brothers 3 for getting their arrangement of Bruno Mars' Just The Way You Are together in just five minutes - from the point where they 'found out' they were the X Factor Wildcard winners to their live performance this evening.

Age Of Reason

The judging panel's quibbles over whether Keating's song choice for 14-year-old Marlisa Punzalan was "lyrically appropriate": Celine Dion's All By Myself, which commences, "When I was young/I never needed anyone/And making love was just for fun..." His comeback to Dannii? How were the lyrics in the Rita Ora song I Will Never Let You Down that she chose for her girl group, Trill, which comprises 14- and 15-year-olds? This dispute continued while the makeup artists swan in during the ad break to powder the judges' noses and Bassingthwaite is overheard yelling "...ALL the TIME!" at Keating.

Desert Storm

Reigan Derry's closing take on Katy Perry's Unconditionally, performed while sand swirled around and then poured down from the ceiling onto her zen garden, secured her as firm favourite to win this season.