Live Review: The Beards, Kingswood, Franky Walnut - 170 Russell

Singer-songwriter Franky Walnut takes the stage complete with guitar, a floppy akubra hat and an impressive ability to hang a stubbie from his harmonica holder. He also does a mean thong solo.

Performing tracks that include As Australian As, Walnut’s shtick is an endearing pisstake of the ocker mystique. The conclusion of his set is especially great as he gets the crowd to boo him offstage while shouting, “You’re a wanker!”

Secret special guests Kingswood are a surprise addition to the bill. One thing that is true about Kingswood is that they have an uncanny ability to attach their Led Zeppelin-esque sound to a variety of genres.

Sucker Punch feels like a Bon Jovi-inspired rock anthem, I Can Feel That You Don’t Love Me, an indie road trip movie soundtrack, and Ohio delves into the heel-and-toe territory. Nevertheless, being sandwiched between two novelty music acts was always going to be a tough gig, but Kingswood play well; their washed out instrumental interludes going down a treat with the Beard-crazy crowd. 

Finally, with the entire crowd chanting “Beards, Beards, Beards!”, The Beards take their turn in the spotlight, opening with I Like Beards.

Johann Beardraven remarks that this is, “The beardiest Melbourne audience that [he has] ever seen,” and he’s not wrong as there are beards everywhere; red beards, woman beards, short beards, bikie beards, hipster beards and even one or two beard beanies! Everyone, furthermore, enters a twilight zone where suddenly it is perfectly normal to turn to the stranger next to you and fondle their face follicles. Beardraven is in his element, running up and down the stage stroking punters’ beards, giving out free CDs and performing his signature ‘jump and beard stroke’ dance move. Playing tracks from their extended back catalogue and new album The Beard Album (it’s an actual beard, FYI), the set is beard-themed power ballad after beard-themed power ballad, including Beards Across Australia Unite, Born With A Beard and If Your Dad Doesn’t Have A Beard, You’ve Got Two Mums. The Bearded Pledge sees the band pull punter Joel onstage “to pledge to never shave a hair from his face again”. After taking the pledge they (of course) try to convince Joel to let them cut some of his beard off with a pair of oversized novelty scissors. He says no and much fanfare ensues.

The Beards are entertaining, high energy, and bring the fun times tenfold. Just be prepared to completely immerse yourself in all things beardy.