He's A Felter Not A Felcher

Rhys Nicholson, the big-red-haired and bespectacled comedian, seems to have well and truly infiltrated the business of show business now – he’s about to launch his fourth solo show and has become a more regular face on television, particularly the ABC. But just one year ago he was still working at the Enmore Theatre box office; in May this year his new show Forward will enjoy a ten-date run there.

“I worked there for like five years: that was my last job. I performed there while I was still working there, which was so strange because I’m selling tickets to shows and the people come to the show, and I’m back,” Nicholson chuckles. “When I was selling tickets to my own show it was kind of when I realised I should quit the job. It was just a safety net, and giving up that last job is very hard, because you always have that money no matter what happens. But now the comedy is a job! It’s sink or swim, things have been good because I haven’t had any other option.”

Not that the safety net has been entirely removed; Nicholson, long a fan and sporter of bowties, has launched an Etsy store selling his own handmade creations. The hobby has led him to list himself as a ‘felter’ on his website – that is, one who works with felt, and not, as Urban Dictionary led us to believe, one who enjoys the alien warmth left by a stranger on a previously occupied chair. Nor is it a ‘felcher’, which Nicholson describes with delighted disgust.

"Felching? Someone ejaculates into another person’s arse and then they suck it out with a straw..."

“I can’t believe we’re here already… Felching is a really horrible sex act that I don’t think actually exists where someone… Okay… Here we go…” there’s a slight joy in hearing Nicholson, of all people, tread squeamishly around a topic, ‘Uh, someone ejaculates into another person’s arse and then they suck it out with a straw… But it just shows so much foresight – like, ‘Do you take the straw with you?’”

Foresight is something Nicholson has been thinking a lot about: what lays ahead with the safety net removed beyond alien warmth and great neckwear? What will people think of Nicholson when he’s no longer of this earth?

“Show business is a confusing job. And realising that I’m giving myself into what could be the next 50 years of my life of total uncertainty… I don’t know where I am in a week, let alone 50 years. No one tells you if you’ve made it, no one tells you if you’re doing well, people love telling you if you’re not doing well…”

The day before our chat Nicholson performed as part of a gala in Brisbane City Hall, and will perform at Melbourne’s Town Hall; the more stately venues are giving him kicks. “Especially with what I do – which is kind of filth, I guess – it is very satisfying to be in these venues. What I wear on stage kind of works, but when the vulgarity spills out of my face… It’s like, the mayor is usually on stage here?”