Clock Reduction

"Hey, well Happy Valentine's Day on the early tip for me and Happy Valentine's Day to you because it's happening right now.” What could possibly be better than spending Val's Day morning chatting with 'The Blackchelor', romantic lead in three seasons of reality TV dating game show, Flavor Of Love ie Public Enemy's very own hypeman, Flavor Flav!? How does he plan on spending Valentine's Day? “The only special plan that I have is to spend this Valentine's Day at home with my fiancée.”

So Flav is still with Liz Trujillo, one of his baby mamas (there are three – he has seven kids, but wants ten) who he proposed to on the Flavor Of Love Season 3 reunion show. What a surprise for the show's winner – christened “Thing 2” by Flav! Trujillo also broke up Flavor Flav's relationship with the Season 2 Flavor Of Love winner, who was branded “Deelishis” by Flav. Flav and Trujillo have since appeared on Season 3 of Couples Therapy.

Flav currently resides in Las Vegas with his fiancée and their seven-year-old son Karma. His other six kids – Shaniq, Dazyna, Quanah, William, Jasmine and Kayla – live in New York. When asked what it's like living in Sin City, Flav responds, “I like to gamble and everything, you know what I'm sayin'? And there's a bunch of casinos here… But then also I became a junkie at the bowling alley. I can't help it. I might have to go to the doctor, man. I might need to see a psychiatrist and stuff because I cannot keep myself out of the bowling alley.”

Cue image of Flav mastering the art of bowling while wearing that trademark ginormous clock around his neck. “It don't get in the way because I have a smaller one around my neck right now,” he stresses. “You know the larger one that I always wore? That's inside of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. I retired it, and when we got inducted on April 18th in 2013 I gave the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame that clock…  The only time that I ever do take my clock and swing it around to the back is when I'm shooting pool, because that's when it gets in the way [laughs], you know what I'm sayin'?”

Has Flav ever been knocked out by his clock onstage? “Have you ever seen me get knocked out by my clock?” Flav sounds annoyed. “I don't think the average person's neck can take what my neck can take, but my neck's pretty used to it since 1987. Right now I could probably tow a car with my neck.” This scribe encourages him to take up the challenge. “I'm still a little too light to fight and too thin to win, man,” he rap-speaks. “I gotta gain me some weight first, hahaha.”

Considering Flav remembers the exact date his band was inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, he probably has more to say about that day: “Let me tell you somethin', I sat in the audience and I said to myself, 'Wow, Quincy Jones is just now gettin' into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame after all of these years, but yet Public Enemy are gettin' in with Quincy Jones?'… It was our fans and our friends and the power of God that put us inside the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, so I'm grateful.”  

Something else that Flav is grateful for is being given the opportunity to meet and bask in the late, great Nelson Mandela's presence. “This was not long after he got out [of prison] and there was a rally going on on 125th Street in New York City,” he remembers, “and I got the honour to be able to stand next to Nelson Mandela as he was delivering his speech. And not only that but that picture ended up inside of the encyclopaedias, inside the almanac – all o' that.” That's gotta be a lifetime highlight. “Yes it was, definitely, and not only that but then years ago when we toured South Africa and I went to Robben Island and I went in Mandela's cell – and when I came back, that topped it off for your boy right there… I'm proud to say that I was able to meet him and shake his hand and give him a hug.”

On how many traffic convictions Flav currently has hanging over his head, the hypeman says, “Now, none. I had a lot goin' on before, but I went to New York and me and my lawyer cleared 'em all up… When I did get those convictions I was young and I was restless at the time, but those are waaay over – over 12 and 13 years ago and everything – and I've grown up a lot since then. I've settled down a lot since then, you know what I'm sayin'? I became more of a family man now instead of a person that comes home, feeds the kids, give 'em a kiss, make sure they got what they need and then go hang out. But no matter how much of hanging out that I always done, I've always been a good father to my children and I've always made sure that they had everything that they needed no matter what – [whether] I was with their mothers or not, you know? And that's a message that I wanna send out to a lotta men that break up with their girlfriends and don't wanna take care of [their] child. Any man that don't take care of his child: it's bad luck, you know what I'm sayin'? For real.”

When the conferencing centre interrupts to give us the rap-up, Flav enquires, “Hey are you as tall as my friend, Brigitte [Nielsen]?” Unfortunately there is not enough time left to go into the relationship Flav shared with the six-foot Danish model/actress/stunner (and ex-wife of Sylvester Stallone) during filming of The Surreal Life and the resulting spin-off that focused solely around the pair, which was aptly titled Strange Love.