“I guess the thing that you learn as a political comic is that you’re unlikely to have massive mainstream success."

"There will always be something attractive about the flaws of humanity and how it affects our art."

“[You’ve got to keep] trying to notice small delightful things around you. That’s really important. And, like, just being aware of the fact that there are always changes for joy and delight and wonder no matter how shit you feel!”

“It’s very hard to ignore by comedians, but the only gags that will survive are the clever ones."

“[The show] is about lying; about how to lie and how to spot a liar. It has lots of anecdotes about how people lie to themselves, and how lying is important."

“With comedy you learn to find common ground with audiences all over the world, but I have no clue what to expect [in Australia]."

"I mean, we made some odd choices – there were some parts, even in the first episode, that we deliberately wanted to be quite boring. My number one rule was that it had to be honest.”

"The cockatoo turned to me AND HE HAD A MAN’S FACE PAINTED ALL WHITE. He stared at me and I woke myself up before my brain imploded."

"Q. What did one snowman say to the other snowman? A. Can you smell carrots?"

"I have a recurring nightmare about the end of the world. Sometimes it’s nuclear war, others zombies. Once it was walking dolphins."

"I want my ugly teenage son Phil to be a doctor, but he want to be an actor. HE IS CRAZY. How is he supposed to take care of me when I am older?"

"What kind of bees give milk? Boobees."

"There are no limitations with JMAC."

"I was stabbed by a gang led by my best friend inside a bakery then woke up screaming with blood gushing from my teeth. This is a very painful memory. Why are you making me relive it?"

"I’m sorry Vanessa Hudgens but I won’t be returning your calls!"

"Seeing people’s faces either during my show or as they are leaving the theatre with big bright eyes full of bubbly joy."

"I don’t know about ‘best joke’, but when your friends all get drunk and start “quoting” the goats-screaming-like-humans video at each other it quickly devolves into a room full of people cycling through screeching in each other’s faces and then breaking into hysterical laughter."

"The Edible Pets are two middle-aged blokes with something to say and a rapidly diminishing time to say it in."

"My favourite sport team is the Hommustown Chickpeas. I think they play Celery Stick Cricket."

"I don’t “do” sport, but now that I live in Melbourne I think I have to say AFL."