Label To Streamline Operations By Eradicating Artists, Fans

20 December 2013 | 2:01 pm | SPA Confidential

A prominent Australian record label will aim to streamline its operations in 2014 by getting rid of all their artists and disregarding fans.

A prominent Australian record label will aim to streamline its operations in 2014 by getting rid of all their artists and disregarding fans.

As the music industry begins to wind up for the year, plans are beginning to be implemented for the future and key innovators look to shape their companies into profitable enterprises in the increasingly challenging market. The plan to cut artists and fans out of music has been revealed via a memo sent to staff and then obtained by SPA Confidential.

“It's a big move,” it reads in part, “but its one that we think will benefit the whole label moving forward… it will give us greater scope to invest recourses into key parts of the business, such as staffing, administration and label showcases. In particular, we hope to host many more label showcases in 2014, which we feel having no artists will allow us to do – no more having to talk over bands or making sure they're there on time, but plenty more industry representatives and bigger bar tabs than ever.”

One of the label's top brass spoke to SPA Confidential on condition of anonymity and said it was perhaps the boldest move the Australian industry's ever seen, but one that was likely to be emulated.

Don't miss a beat with our FREE daily newsletter

“I think everyone agrees this business would be so much simpler without temperamental, troublesome artists or complaining listeners,” he said. “And everyone also knows that 2014's a critical year for us – so we'll be eradicating those hurdles to ensure everything runs smoothly. It'll help the bottom line no end.”

He added, “I'm already in talks with a major promoter to do the same for their festival – without bands you won't have stages running behind time and without punters you won't have to worry about them bitchin' on Facebook about line-ups or complaining about queues for the toilets or water.

“I think soon we'll also see publicists trying to get rid of those bloody journalists, who tend to get in the way of everything as well.”