Hair To The Throne

“All you need is a bikini wax… Yes, you just need a good bikini wax…” Rosa Waxoffski, the world’s most popular celebrity bikini waxer, took the stage with her mullet hair and bizarre rendition of YMCA.

After a morose ballad by her besotted co-star Boris Longschlongadongski, Russia’s biggest pianist, there she was in the flesh… and my, what a lot of flesh was revealed as the show went on.

With powerful vocals, well-timed jokes and an accompanying slideshow to tie the segments together, Hair To The Throne is one of the more comedic camp performances of the Hayes Theatre cabaret month. From Rosa’s story of humble beginnings in Leningrad, Russia, to her arrival in Australia to start a beauty salon in “The Darlinghursts” the audience is taken on a journey through song, dance and… eating competitions.

Love, loss, incest and fanicures (that’s beauty treatments for your vagina, honeys!) take centre stage. It’s a world where weird covers of ‘80s songs, very bad knock knock jokes and tongue placed firmly in cheek references to Australiana and Russia rule. Even Putin and Rolf Harris get a strong nod in this vajazzling cabaret display. Honourable mention goes to the best Russian man competition, which tonight got two gentleman up to compete with a feast of cornichons, vodka and crumping to win Rosa’s heart.

It’s a show where normally taboo talk about downstairs is on the table with the princess of preening and plucking as the wild guide. Ending with a number sure to “light up your night”, this is one comedy cabaret that won’t send you home downhearted. Just avoid the front half of the stalls unless you want to get intimate with the interactive act.